I think the idea of actively examining what makes you depressed and avoiding it, and seeing what helps you feel better and doing it, is really good. But don't go too far in that direction to the point where if you are depressed sometimes, you beat yourself up about it or deny that you're feeling it at all. Being sad sometimes is normal, especially at more difficult, transitional points in your life (you seem to be in one of those). I know that for me, when I've been going through a tough time, being sad at least some of the time seemed inextricably linked with important things I was learning about myself and emotional growth I was experiencing. You don't want to avoid being sad to the point where you cheat yourself out of progress you could be making in your life. That having been said, no one wants to be sad and of course it's good to avoid that.
I would add something to / extrapolate on your recommendation about what to do with things from the past (old photos, love letters, etc.) if you've been through a breakup. From my experience and that of others I know, I'd say the best things is to put all that stuff in a box and stick it somewhere that's hard to get to and try to almost forget about it. But don't throw it away or burn it or anything like that, as tempting as it may be, until you feel like you've really made progress toward moving on (I know this is something you haven't done, but many people do).
The big exception to this recommendation is if the person you were with really screwed you over really bad. If you consistently feel that there was nothing, or almost nothing, redeemable about the relationship, then if it will make you feel better by all means have a little bonfire in the backyard. But if you feel, at least sometimes, like there were special times you want to remember, even if right now they seem tainted by disappointment or betrayal, keep at least a few things and put them away where they won't bother you until you're ready to pull them out and have a look at them.
Once you're really feeling like you've made the transition out of the relationship (which can potentially take years) you can always get rid of the stuff then. It may even be a good idea to get rid of all or most of it, especially if you're in a new relationship and the other person might be weirded out by that big pile of mushy notes.
Well, I really hope all these strategies help you not to feel down so much and I think sharing them here gives your blog readers a good reason to think about some important stuff. Just don't take the idea of personal responsibility for your emotional state to the point that you get yourself more down or ignore reasonable feelings that you need to deal with.
Take care, cutie.
drublood
· 6 years ago
I love you, babe. And you can hang out with this old lady AND her children any old time, which kinda kills two birds with one stone. bahahahaha.
amy
· 6 years ago
I find that the times when I really dwell on my feelings and life and sadness and whatnot are times when I am not being stimulated and have entirely too much time on my hands. I am happiest when I am working towards a goal, enjoying the process and witnessing results. I think, maybe, you need more tangible, intellectual stimulation. I think you are dissatisfied with your life because you are above all else...bored. I know these things are more complicated than that, but I am a big fan of Occam's Razor and try to apply it whenever possible. Also, I, like you, am and ENFP so I thought I could provide some insight.
Haydur
· 6 years ago
My sadness comes from the fact that I am unable to understand my friends and give them what they are looking forward to from me. I hate that. :(
PING: TITLE: Friends Forever? BLOG NAME: haydur @ 2alone I always wonder how a friendship can last a lifetime. Yes, I have heard stories about it. But what I've personally experienced, friendship can rarely last over a long period of time. Unfortunately, ones wants and needs change constantly... and...
All Comments
I would add something to / extrapolate on your recommendation about what to do with things from the past (old photos, love letters, etc.) if you've been through a breakup. From my experience and that of others I know, I'd say the best things is to put all that stuff in a box and stick it somewhere that's hard to get to and try to almost forget about it. But don't throw it away or burn it or anything like that, as tempting as it may be, until you feel like you've really made progress toward moving on (I know this is something you haven't done, but many people do).
The big exception to this recommendation is if the person you were with really screwed you over really bad. If you consistently feel that there was nothing, or almost nothing, redeemable about the relationship, then if it will make you feel better by all means have a little bonfire in the backyard. But if you feel, at least sometimes, like there were special times you want to remember, even if right now they seem tainted by disappointment or betrayal, keep at least a few things and put them away where they won't bother you until you're ready to pull them out and have a look at them.
Once you're really feeling like you've made the transition out of the relationship (which can potentially take years) you can always get rid of the stuff then. It may even be a good idea to get rid of all or most of it, especially if you're in a new relationship and the other person might be weirded out by that big pile of mushy notes.
Well, I really hope all these strategies help you not to feel down so much and I think sharing them here gives your blog readers a good reason to think about some important stuff. Just don't take the idea of personal responsibility for your emotional state to the point that you get yourself more down or ignore reasonable feelings that you need to deal with.
Take care, cutie.
PING:
TITLE: Friends Forever?
BLOG NAME: haydur @ 2alone
I always wonder how a friendship can last a lifetime. Yes, I have heard stories about it. But what I've personally experienced, friendship can rarely last over a long period of time. Unfortunately, ones wants and needs change constantly... and...